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psychology

Making Choices in Personal History Part 2: Contemplation How do you decide to embark on a personal history? In our last blog, we began to explore the stages of decision-making, based on the work of James Prochaska and his colleagues in their ground-breaking research on lasting change and how it happens. Today, we’re going to discuss the second stage of change. Contemplation: “Hmmmm…” In pre-contemplation, we introduced the idea of presenting information that was previously unknown: that there is such a thing as a personal history and that it will have lasting value in the lives of individuals, families, and communities. This is the “awareness” stage, a move from ignorance to knowledge. We encouraged the “educator,” to share information freely and then step back to allow it to percolate, rather than trying to rush decision-making and action. Now suppose you haven’t talked with them for a couple of months. It’s perfectly fine to check in and ask them and ask if they’ve thought any more about it (being aware of the personality of the person you’re contacting). At this point, if they say either, “I’m thinking about what it might mean to do something like this, but I need to take some more time to make any decision, or, “I hadn’t thought about it but, now that you remind me, I’d like to think further about this. “This is the signal that he/she is in the “Contemplation” stage. What are the indicators: 1. Consideration of the possibilities without any action steps being involved; Their Sitting on a fence where previously no fence existed; 2. No immediate time frame being discussed. ‘I’m aware that this is something that has benefited others and might be of benefit to me, but I’m not ready to jump in just yet.” How can you be helpful in this stage? 1. Validate their decision-making process: “I understand that you want to think about this some more. That’s great. It’s a big step. You want to make sure that if you do this, it feels solid. “ 2. Clarify and discuss: Help them understand the pros and cons of doing a personal history (e.g., the pro of having something for my siblings, great grandchildren, community; the con of how much it would cost, the time it would take, I don’t feel like I’d have anything to say, etc.) 3. Illustrate the value of contemplation: Just carefully weighing the options will deepen their understanding of their process and help them achieve resolution.

Personal History & Making Choices – Part 2

April 27, 2016

1) name the steps in the change process; 2) relate them to the stages people go through in deciding to preserve life stories; and 3) give hints about how to recognize and work through each stage. Stage One: Pre-Contemplation…”What Are You Talking About?” Our culture is awash in storytelling and life preservation, from Story Corps -- to the Humans of New York Facebook page -- to the huge Roots Tech genealogy convention. Yet when someone’s son says, “Maybe we ought to tell the story of our family?” or a member of the local historical society says, “Maybe we ought to digitize those oral histories that are stored on crumbling paper in the back room…” a person may often say, “Our story is not very interesting,” or “We don’t have the money to digitize those records,” or “I don’t have the time.” This is what is called the Pre-Contemplation Stage. In the Pre-Contemplation Stage everyone can see that there is a need but the person with the need can’t see it, or doesn’t think it applies to them. How do you help people move out of this stage? Raise Consciousness, Educate, Inform! Since you are reading this blog, you are most likely not in pre-contemplation, but you probably know someone who is -- a family member, a business associate, a friend, maybe even the Board member of your local historical society. Here are some steps you can take to raise awareness DO: 1. Cite facts: List the variety of benefits derived from preserving their life histories. (Most people in pre-contemplation have never even considered them as personally relevant.) 2. Share the positive changes that came into your own life as a result of creating a personal history. You can also listen to our current podcast to hear how one Personal Historian’s life changed as a result of her family journey. …or watch an episode of Henry Louis Gates’ show, “Finding Your Roots.” 3. Point out some of the consequences of failing to preserve lives, e.g., “I wish I knew what mom thought about my dad’s years in the CIA,” or “I’ll never be able to find out more about mom’s time as a missionary in Laos,” or “I think those are my great uncles, but grandma is dead and there’s no legend on the back of the photo.” DON’T 1. …try to move the person along too fast. You are not trying to get the person to act at this stage—they are not ready-- you are helping to raise their awareness. 2. …be discouraged if it takes a while…even if you feel an urgency, the desire to proceed needs to come from within. If it doesn’t it won’t sustain and the project will never start or it will feel like it’s your project, instead of theirs. Are you a professional personal historian? This may help you understand why we often experience such long lead times between the first contact and the initiation of a project. Do you know someone who would benefit from doing a Personal History? Learning the stages involved in choosing and changing may provide insight into the complexity of the process. Look around you this week. How many people do you see who are still in the pre-contemplation stage of doing a personal history? Please share what you discover with us. Next Week: Stage 2: Contemplation: “Hmmm….”

Making Choices & Personal History

April 13, 2016

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